Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
