I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
