STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize