It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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