The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
