you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
