so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
