you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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