Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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