hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
