We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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