Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
