I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
