I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
