dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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