he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
there was a trapeze. enough said
how do flat chested girls get laid?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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