Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
