I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
