I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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