how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
pop tarts are not kleenex
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
