Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
