i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
