And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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