She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
