please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
