i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
