Sponge bath it is.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
