so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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