They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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