i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
