Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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