What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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