It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize