i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
