Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize