First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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