So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
