I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
