Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
