So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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