Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
