Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
