He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
