the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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