Fuck appropriateness.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
