the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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