It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
