Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I think people are normalizing furries
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
