Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...

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(708): View more from Illinois

Crying babies in a bar. Really?

(708): View more from Illinois

And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.

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(949): View more from California

...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail

(949): View more from California

ps not my toothbrush awkward.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..

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(845): View more from New York

Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.

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(540): View more from Virginia

For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea

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