If i come over, it means nothing
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Randomize
