i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
So vagazzling was a success
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
