I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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