Don't make out with my wife yet
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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