dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
