yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
