Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
