Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
