U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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