Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize