i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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