There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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