I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
