I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
