No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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